Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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