I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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