im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
