Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
