If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
