You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
