do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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