Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
