i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
