My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My vagina is officially offended.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
