Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
