The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just had sex on a roof
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
