He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize