Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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