There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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