Nicole vs. Life
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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