found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
