This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
bring money and cleavage
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
