This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize