For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
