My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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