I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
