What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I want a musical about memes.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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