can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
