He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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