I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
