I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
