dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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