She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
