Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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