Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
