Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
