are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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