So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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