Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
