matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
