Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
