That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
