Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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