try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
