im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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