so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Randomize
