How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize