I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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