She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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