And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
