I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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