when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
