Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
