if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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