I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
