Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
