And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Congratulations! We have a period
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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