Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize