Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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