Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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