I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
