Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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