so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
